Awake

I lie in bed unable and unwilling to let sleep return.  It's another night of The Dreams.  My breathing has returned to normal, and I've sorted out what was dream and what is real.  You know what that's like, right?  You wake from a dream so real that it takes you a few minutes to... Continue Reading →

Itchy

Something inside me is itchy, an internal prickling I can't scratch. I have more time than ever, yet I find myself unable to focus on anything.  I am obsessed with scrolling, rarely compelled to click on links and certainly not finishing articles, no matter how important.  I'm addicted to the headlines without the commitment of... Continue Reading →

The Throne

I loathe vomiting. When a stomach bug attacks, I will remain in the fetal position for days with agonizing nausea rather than just getting it over with and throwing up.  I've always been this way.  Had I been one of those pregnant women with constant morning sickness, there would likely be three less children in... Continue Reading →

Someday

I am engulfed in a muddy river of sorrow and loss. The current is strong, and I struggle to stay afloat. I fight and kick, but the debris of pain pulls me under. I surface just long enough to inhale and note my surroundings, only to be sucked down again…again…and again.  The waters are raging.... Continue Reading →

Poison

I am poisoned.  Everything I touch, everywhere I go, I ruin things. Marriages.  Children.  Schools.  Relationships. I was once called a "user," and it shook it me to my core.  I feel like a giver, to a fault.  I picture myself as underwater diver with one breath between myself and my partner, and I know... Continue Reading →

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑