Itchy

Something inside me is itchy, an internal prickling I can't scratch. I have more time than ever, yet I find myself unable to focus on anything.  I am obsessed with scrolling, rarely compelled to click on links and certainly not finishing articles, no matter how important.  I'm addicted to the headlines without the commitment of... Continue Reading →

The Throne

I loathe vomiting. When a stomach bug attacks, I will remain in the fetal position for days with agonizing nausea rather than just getting it over with and throwing up.  I've always been this way.  Had I been one of those pregnant women with constant morning sickness, there would likely be three less children in... Continue Reading →

Someday

I am engulfed in a muddy river of sorrow and loss. The current is strong, and I struggle to stay afloat. I fight and kick, but the debris of pain pulls me under. I surface just long enough to inhale and note my surroundings, only to be sucked down again…again…and again.  The waters are raging.... Continue Reading →

Poison

I am poisoned.  Everything I touch, everywhere I go, I ruin things. Marriages.  Children.  Schools.  Relationships. I was once called a "user," and it shook it me to my core.  I feel like a giver, to a fault.  I picture myself as underwater diver with one breath between myself and my partner, and I know... Continue Reading →

Day 1,111

My Lyme is flaring.  The IV-antibiotic treatment is causing spirochetes to die off faster than my body can expel them, and I am trapped in my own circle of hell.  At once there is pain throughout my body.  It consumes me.  I cannot think; there is only pain. I cannot eat; I will throw up.... Continue Reading →

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